So we were Gchatting today and he asks, "so when do you think we'll get back together?" Then later on he asks "When we get back together, you know how long it's gonna be for?" and answers "siempre!"
It makes things so much more confusing. I go from being mad at him and feeling sad because he hasn't called all afternoon to thinking that maybe it will all work out when he reminds me how he feels about me. Then I start over-analyzing our relationship: it's not perfect therefore he's not "the one."
How can I get myself to stop having unrealistic expectations? He is such a great man! He's so sweet and attentive. He's smart, motivated, and has a great career. We share a lot of the same values and interests. I just don't know.
I don't want to be one of those women obsessed with getting married and and starting a family. But at the same time I feel like I'm ready for that. At least ready to move towards that.
How does one recover from fairytale syndrome?!
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Monday, August 4, 2008
Not settling
I received a compilation of my good friend Taz's poetry, "Secret Confessions: The Chapbook," in the mail today. I felt like her first poem was written just for me. It's what I needed to hear.
I'm afraid of never finding "the one"... of never falling in love again... of settling.
I remember praying last year. Asking God to send me a good man that would love me, that could take care of me, that was sweet and caring. God answered my prayers. He sent me MF. MF is all of those things and more.
I realized something though. I forgot to ask God to send me passion. I forgot to ask Him to send me a good man that would make my knees shake and my heart tremble.
Sometimes I think I'm too picky. That the things I asked for are more important than passion in the long-run. That I should be grateful. That this is as good as it gets. What if it's just me? After all, when I first met MF I did have butterflies and the thought of him did send electric currants through my body.
Then I think no. No, I shouldn't settle. He shouldn't settle. God wouldn't want us to settle. We deserve love and happiness. God has a plan. I just have to be patient.
I'm afraid of never finding "the one"... of never falling in love again... of settling.
I remember praying last year. Asking God to send me a good man that would love me, that could take care of me, that was sweet and caring. God answered my prayers. He sent me MF. MF is all of those things and more.
I realized something though. I forgot to ask God to send me passion. I forgot to ask Him to send me a good man that would make my knees shake and my heart tremble.
Sometimes I think I'm too picky. That the things I asked for are more important than passion in the long-run. That I should be grateful. That this is as good as it gets. What if it's just me? After all, when I first met MF I did have butterflies and the thought of him did send electric currants through my body.
Then I think no. No, I shouldn't settle. He shouldn't settle. God wouldn't want us to settle. We deserve love and happiness. God has a plan. I just have to be patient.
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