Our time is up

So we went on vacation together....

I was so nervous and anxious to see him. I even had butterflies in my stomach, which gave me hope that it (our love) was real. I thought it was fate when Gladdys was late and his flight landed early, so that I got the chance to kiss him before he took off to Vegas for his bff's bachelor party.

It felt good that he checked in the first day... even if he did call at 4 am.

The weekend was great. I spent 4th of July on the beach in Santa Monica with my Oxy girls and celebrated TZ's birthday. Then took off to San Diego with BFF.

But he didn't continue checking in. I remember going up and down. Feeling upset that he wasn't calling or texting and then making excuses for him like he was too busy or maybe hesitant given our situation.

I kept praying for a sign. A sign to tell me if he was it or not. If I should keep fighting for us or give up. A sign to let me know if I was in love with him or if it was the comfort of having someone that I didn't want to lose.

Something was different when I saw him again. I was different.

We had a nice time together. We had a spa day. I helped him on his speech the night before the wedding. We danced. He kept singing "Guadalajara, Guadalajara" all week, so I bought him a song at the Plaza de los Mariachi's (which was a ghetto little alley my cousins later told me was NOT the place to hear good mariachi). Puerto Vallarta was relaxing. We had fun with the boogie boards. He met my cousins and my Tia Coco.

It was nice. But it wasn't romantic. We held hands and kissed... but they weren't the passionate kisses that leave your lips tingling and your body full of electric currants. I didn't want to rip his clothes off. I didn't want him.

I didn't have an epiphany or see a sign. I just realized that we weren't in love anymore. We love each other, we have fun together, we get along great, but we're not in love.

Maybe it was the distance. Maybe it just isn't meant to be. All I know is now is not our time.