In limbo

I am so confused. We went back and forth yesterday about taking the trip to Mexico. Talking about what this break-up really meant. You told me you were hopeful we would get back together...that you'd "seriously consider" moving to the Bay if I did so. You called me last night, in the middle of the night, telling me you wanted to "make it work."

But when I asked you what you meant by that, you said that "part of you" wanted to make it work and another part of you is "unsure". And then you don't call, or text, or email.

You ask why I say I'm "in limbo"?

I don't know whether we're going to work things out or not, whether I'm going to your bff's wedding next Friday, whether I want to go to Mexico with you, whether I want to be with you! I don't know in what direction my life is going!

I had it all planned out. I would stay here until June. Move to NYC. We'd get engaged by winter and say our vows sometime the following summer. Kids would follow a few years later. And we'd be in happily ever after.

Now the fantasy 's shattered and I'm not sure it can be pieced back together.